I always give money to panhandlers. My son taught me this habit. We were passing through Atlanta on the way home from an expensive vacation when I was approached in a parking lot by a gentleman who wanted bus fare. I told him I could not, but then my son, a future high school track star, chased him down and gave him twenty dollars. When his mother and I tried to teach our son, rather heatedly, that he had not acted wisely, he just yawned and replied, "Then what’s all that stuff Reverend Spencer talks about every Sunday?"
That was a long time ago. Much, much longer ago, when the old Palmetto Chess Club met at the YMCA on Sumter Street, I was an idealistic, and very stupid, college student who gave a guy who asked money in the lobby. The irate staff followed me into the narrow room in which we had our chess tables, sarcastically assuring me with embarrassing volume and repetition before a packed crowd that I had "just bought a drunk a bottle of booze". But the real cut that caused my long hiatus of charity was the surprised look on the drunk’s face and the way he had whispered, "Thanks, darling."
So I was prepared to give as I wandered around Five Points recently, but the novel tactic of a fellow I met there took me aback. We had a dialogue something like:
He: Hey buddy, want to take a crack at answering the world’s easiest question?
I: What’s it going to cost me?
He: It’s not going to cost you anything , buddy.
I: World’s easiest question?
He: That’s right.
I: Okay, shoot.
He: Alright, here goes: What’s the world’s easiest question?
I: That’s clever. Okay, you want to know, what’s the world’s easiest question?
He: That’s right.
I: Well, it could be a lot of things.
He: No, buddy, it’s just one thing.
I: Maybe, what’s your name?
He: No, that ain’t the world’s easiest question. What if a guy loses his memory?
I: If he loses his memory he’s not going to be able to answer much of anything.
He: Maybe not. But that ain’t the world’s easiest question. Try again. It’s easy. I told you already, it’s the world’s easiest question.
I: Maybe, how’s it going?
He: No, buddy, that ain’t even an easy question. How does a guy know, he might be sick. Maybe his old lady is stepping out on him. He don’t know.
I: Well, I give up.
He: Don’t give up!
I: What’s the world’s easiest question?
He: There now. I told you it was easy.
I: Yeah, but what is it?
He: That’s right.
I: Listen, I want to know the answer. Here’s five bucks. What’s the answer to the world’s easiest question?
He: Buddy, thanks for the five, but to be honest with you I don’t know myself. Somebody asked me, and I was hoping you knew.